


The Bane of my Existence

by ShadowLikesPie



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Dark Past, Developing Relationships, Eventual Smut, M/M, Malec, Past Abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-03
Updated: 2016-05-05
Packaged: 2018-05-31 02:26:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 9,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6451840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadowLikesPie/pseuds/ShadowLikesPie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Magnus Bane was tired. He was so, so tired of everything. His life in New York, his abusive father, and broken memories of Camille Belcourt. When he applied to the School of the Art Institute in Chicago, he just wanted to get away.<br/>But when he ran into a pair of gorgeous blue eyes, suddenly he wasn't tired anymore.</p><p>Suddenly, Magnus Bane woke up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Waking Up

Magnus Bane didn't quite remember why he applied for a university. A serious one, at that. His life had been a whirlwind of partying since the beginning of High School, and he didn't think he ever wanted to leave that life.

Although, when he thought about it, Magnus knew why, somewhere. To get away. To leave his father with anger issues and homophobia, and to leave distant memories of Camille Belcourt; his highschool sweetheart.

Well, until she shattered his heart. Not too much of a sweetheart then, hm?

So when he got the letter of acceptance from the School of the Art Institute of Chicago, Magnus immediately started to pack his bags. It was an esteemed art school, one of the best in the country.

But honestly? He didn't care about the school. He just wanted to get away. To leave everything, memories of New York behind. In honesty, despite his glamorous outfits and colorful style, Magnus Bane had never been more tired. He was tired of screaming at his father until his voice wore out, tired of sobbing over pictures of him and Camille. Tired of feeling alone, and empty inside.

When he stepped onto the threshold of the only home he'd ever known, Magnus Bane didn't look back.

             

* * *

  

 _"You're a disgrace, Magnus. Art school? So you can follow your petty dream of fashion? Think of your family name. Your a Bane, not a faggot._ "

Magnus sighed, the memory of he and his father's last conversation constantly flashing through his brain as he wandered the streets of the campus.

_"Dad, please. I'm tired of this."_

Magnus kept walking, jaw set. He grabbed a map of the campus, looking for the building to get his information from.

_"Tired of what? You don't think I'm tired? I'm tired of you always going off about something new to disgust me with! First you thinking you're gay, then parties, and now your own career!?"_

He finally found it on the map, noticing that it was only a couple of blocks away. With a weak smile, he walked in the direction of the information building.

_"I'm not gay. I'm bi, Dad."_

When he opened the door of the massive building, his heart stopped. People everywhere weren't looking at him weird for wearing eyeliner and being a guy. They smiled up at him, before quickly going back to their work. There was even others, other guys all with paper in front of them, trying to draw the right face angle; or dress. People were... Like him.

_"Bisexual? It's a cruel joke. There's gay, and there's straight. There's people like you, who break their family's hearts and try to amend it by saying their not gay, but bi! People like you are liars, Magnus."_

"Name?"

"Magnus. Magnus Bane."

The lady at the information desk nodded, handing him a sheet of paper with directions, a schedule, and his dorm room.

"Go to your dorm first, there will be an introduction assembly tonight at 7:00."

He nodded, probably looking confused, and walked out the door.

" _Please stop." A whisper, a plead._

Magnus bit his lip, standing outside the dorm room that was supposed to be his. When he opened the door, half the room was already decorated. If decorated meant Star Wars posters, Lord of the Rings figurines, and models of basically everything geeky.

"Dear God."

 

" _Leave my house Magnus. Don't come back until you're ready to admit this was all a phase."_

 

The owner of the... Collection? Yeah, that word fit. He walked out of the bathroom, wearing a Star Wars shirt and glasses on his nose.

"Hey! You must be the roomie. I'm Simon!" He held out a hand, grinning. Magnus took it warily, not sure what to think.

"It's a pleasure. Magnus. Magnus Bane."

 _"Then I guess I'm not coming back." When he stepped onto the threshold of the only home he'd ever known, Magnus didn't look back_.

* * *

 

 

"So, um.. Sheldon, was it?" The boy's expression soured.

"Simon."

"Right, sorry. And what are you majoring in?"

"Photography! I-" Magnus pretended to listen as the boy droned on about different things you could do in Photoshop. Taking out things of his own, he quickly claimed most of the closet space in their room.

"Sorry, is this okay?" Magnus gestured to the closet filled with Magnus' clothes. Simon shrugged. "Yeah, that's fine. I only really own a bunch of jeans and graphic tees." Magnus nodded, running a hand through his carefully styled hair. A dreadful habit, in his opinion, but he did it subconsciously.

"Well, I'm going to go.. Get food." Magnus decided it was an alright excuse to get away from the boy's blabbering.

Plus,he had forgotten his name again. The guy nodded, and Magnus turned the doorknob.

But once he did, every coherent thought flew out of his head.

A boy stood across from him, closing the door behind him. Upon seeing Magnus, he stopped dead in his tracks.

And, for a while, they both just... Stared.

He had black, tousled hair that just barely fell into his eye. And oh god, his eyes. They held a dark blue gleam, wide and staring. _At him._ He was staring, this beautiful boy was staring at _him_.

After what seemed like eternity, he tore his eyes away from Magnus'.

Clearing his throat, he extended a hand. "Um, hi. I'm Alec." _Alec._ His heart sang with the name, and Magnus grinned at him, taking the hand.

"Magnus."

Touching his hand sent electric shocks up his arm, yet Magnus didn't want to let go.

Although Magnus was so, so tired? Tired of everything, right? Tired of.. Tired of his life?

 Yet... As he looked into the pair of gorgeous blue eyes, Magnus woke up.


	2. A Realization

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus and Alec actually hold a conversation, and Magnus realizes something.

Magnus stared at their hands for a bit. Well, longer than a bit. It wasn't until Alec let go hastily that Magnus stopped staring and smirked up at Alec. 

"I'll see you around?" Magnus had a mischievous twinkle to his eyes as Alec nodded, still flushed up to his ears. Magnus wiggled his fingers in a sort of wave, and headed down the hall.

When he got around the corner however, he let his confident demeanor drop. 

"Holy shit." Was all Magnus said, thoughts taken up by the blushing boy with ink black hair. And damn, damn those striking blue eyes. 

Magnus somehow got to the exit of his dorm building, thoughts still very much occupied. In a single encounter, he had forgotten about his father and Camille. In a single encounter, Alec had left a deeper impression that almost every single person in his graduating class.

Of course, Magnus could just be being dramatic over how stunning Alec was, but he let himself indulge for a bit. Indulge in the memory of glossy, gorgeous blue eyes shining with their uncertainty as they looked at Magnus. 

Honestly, he needed to stop. Fantasizing over a guy he had just met was something Magnus didn't do-

Nevermind, that was a lie. He'd fantasized over plenty people that he had just met.

Hormones were a bitch, in Magnus's personal opinion. 

Somehow, Magnus made it to the cafeteria despite all his thoughts. When he walked in, there was only three people seated and in some sort of debate about who would win: Gandalf or Dumbledore. Having heard this particular conversation before, Magnus heavily sided with Gandalf.

"Sure once he's reincarnated Gandalf is all powerful or something, but what about before?" One of the three asked, a boy with tousled brown hair and golden eyes that screamed for attention. Magnus paid no attention.

"That's not the point Jace, it's not about the past!" Another retorted, this time a girl with dark hair tied up in a high ponytail.

"Sorry Jace, but I have to side with Izzy." The third and final person in the room mumbled apologetically, and Magnus thought he recognized the voice. And her shock of red hair.

"So sorry to interrupt such an important ah.. Discussion, but I thought I recognized the voice of a childhood friend." Magnus interjected, waltzing up to them with all the flare he could muster. 

God, he loved a good entrance.

"Wait, Magnus?" The girl grinned, running over to him and practically tackling him in a hug. 

"The one and only." He chuckled, hugging her back. 

"It's so good to see you again! I had no idea you went here!" She exclaimed, and Magnus scratched the back of his neck apologetically.

"Sorry to interrupt, but how do you know him, Clary?" The dark haired one, Izzy asked with a questioning gaze towards the other girl. 

"Magnus used to be dropped off at my house to play when his dad had meetings. We were both pretty little. " Clary quickly explained, and Magnus grinned again. 

"Oo, do you have baby stories of Clary?" Izzy asked with a menacing smirk, to which Magnus returned the expression. Clary, however, did not seem thrilled.

"Oh god Magnus, I know what your thinking of. Not that one, please-" However, Magnus had already launched into the story. 

 

   "So then, Clary runs down the stairs, her red hair like a flag and screams: 'Mom! What does fuck mean!?'" The whole table dissolved into laughter at the end of Magnus's story, with the exception of Clary.

"She had me wash my mouth out with soap." Clary mumbled grouchily, and Magnus ruffled her hair. 

"Don't worry biscuit, it was adorable." 

  "What was adorable?" Magnus turned to see Alec himself, looking slightly awkward as he stared at the table of people.

"Clary when she was five." Jace explained helpfully, not noticing the palpable tension in the air. Magnus's throat was dry, and he didn't think anyone could manage making the best out of cafeteria lighting like Alec did. The faint light from the windows filtered in and framed his ink black hair, picking out different colors rather than stark black. Instead it shone with different shades, changing every few seconds depending on how Alec moved. Not to mention his eyes. His dark blue orbs had small flecks of gold in the light, like two ponds during a sunset.  

When Magnus finally realized he was staring, the entire group had left besides Alec, leaving them alone.

Blinking, Magnus was momentarily confused.

"Where'd everyone go?" Alec shrugged, still looking awkward. At this point, he had begun to shift from foot to foot.

"No need to look so uncomfortable. I won't bite." Magnus spoke with the ghost of a smirk, motioning to the table. "Sit." Alec carefully obliged, and Magnus released a sigh.

"Honestly if your going to be so.. What's the word? Stiff, we'll never be friends." Alec stared at him blankly, and Magnus ran a hand through spiked black hair.

"You know what? Let's start over. Hi. I'm Magnus. Magnus Bane." He held out the same hand that Alec had touched that morning.

"Alec Lightwood." The other boy said carefully, and took the outstretched hand. 

"Short for Alexander?"

"Yeah, but only my parents call me that." 

"Alright Alexander, what are you majoring in?" Alec soured at the use of his full name, which honestly only convinced Magnus he needed to use it more. 

"I'm majoring in Photography." Magnus thought immediately of his roommates lecture on photoshop, and barely held in a wince.

"Like photoshop?" Alec looked offended.

"God, no. I'm interested in taking pictures of things when they don't know they're being observed. It adds a natural, and humane outlook on a picture that you can't get from someone posing. It adds something, I suppose." Magnus raised an eyebrow at the clear passion in his voice, and Alec's cheeks took on a light tinge of pink. 

"It's just- I'm not-"

"Alexander. It's all right." Alec but his lip, a gesture that was decidedly adorable. 

"Sorry."

"No need." They fell into a comfortable conversation for what was probably longer than they thought, until Alec glanced at his phone.

"Ugh, Isabelle. Well, I better go before she thinks that we were-"

"What, making out?" Magnus made it as a teasing comment, but Alec clearly didn't see it that way. His expression darkened, and Magnus immediately regretted it.

"Alec, I'm sorry it was just a joke-" But Alec was gone. 

With a sinking feeling in his chest, Magnus came to a clear conclusion. Alec was straight, and disgusted with him for even joking. 

Magnus's friend Catarina would have called him over dramatic, would have said to just talk to him before jumping to conclusions. But Catarina wasn't there. Without her or even Ragnor, Magnus came to ridiculous conclusions. Usually they helped him out of that locked mindset. But at this point, neither of them were there. At this point, Magnus was already secure in his beliefs. 

So, it was at this point, that Magnus Bane realized that Alec Lightwood was straight. 

Even if he had just convinced himself, wholly and truly, of a lie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so I'm really happy???? Like I check Ao3 and my day was made? ALMOST 400 FREAKIN HITS!? WHAT THE HELL IM CRYING HAPPINESS THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!!!
> 
> On another note, I'm not sure about update schedule yet. I'm on Spring Break right now, yes it's really late, but when I get back into classes I might not have as much time. We shall see, and I'll try to have that figured out soon.
> 
> Also, dear God has anyone read the Bane Chronicles yet because I own it now and it's gay.   
> And ALEC AND MAGNUS FLIPPING MAKE OUT FOR THREE FREAKIN PAGES CAN I GET A HELL YEAH
> 
> As always, thanks for reading and comments!! CX


	3. Constant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Twenty questions :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is so short, it's really late here. Also, thank you so much for the feedback last chapter! It made my day!

For the next few days, Alec ignored Magnus. 

It was dreadful, in his opinion. Magnus had honestly quite liked Alec, and hoped to be friends.

(Well, he originally wanted to be more, but that could never happen now. Damn straights.)

When he opened his dorm room, once again escaping what's-his-name, Alec stood outside his room.

"Alexander! Can we talk?" Alec threw him a rather pointed glare, and Magnus felt rather offended. Rather was a nice word, in Magnus' opinion. 

"What is it Magnus?" Magnus' face brightened considerably at being talked to, and smiled a friendly smile at Alec.

"I wanted to apologize for my earlier actions. I made jokes like that all the time with my old friends, and didn't realize that they would upset you." Magnus tried to ignore how when Alec's eyebrow arched, his whole face moved. And dear god, his eyes seemed to shift between thousands of shades of blue in a fraction of a second. Magnus hadn't ever realized just how diverse blue was, or maybe it was just because it was Alec.

He _really_ nended to stop if he had any hope of having a friendship with Alec. 

After what seemed like centuries, Alec gave a curt nod.

"It's okay." Two words, that was it. Two words was all it took before Magnus was relaxed, and grinning.

"So, Alexander, what do you say about friends?" 

Magnus promptly ignored the little voice in his head screaming:  _Or you know, more. I'm fine with more. In fact, can we fuck now?_

It was a persistent and straightforward little thing, that voice of his. 

Alec seemed to release some of the tension in his shoulders, a good sign in Magnus' opinion.

"Sure." Forget about two words, one word relaxed Magnus completely. He grinned at Alec, and to his surprise Alec smiled back, just a bit.

But that bit was enough to light up Magnus' whole world. 

"So, Alexander, want to play a game?" Alec looked at Magnus with suspicion in his eyes, and Magnus just chuckled. "If we are to be friends, then we have to learn a bit about each other. Twenty questions?" Magnus suggested, and Alec shrugged. The more glittery of the two took it as a yes, and clapped his hands excitedly. 

"What made you decide to go into photography?" Magnus asked eagerly, and Alec raised his eyebrow again before shrugging.

"I've always liked how a picture is constant, it captures a moment and  doesn't change. It's the one time when you know something will be constant forever." Alec said it wistfully, and glanced back at Magnus with a blush. "Or something like that." 

They had started walking towards the cafeteria, and Magnus smiled at Alec.

"Your turn." Alec thought for a bit.

"What's your major?" Straight to the point, Magnus mused. So unlike Camille, with how she warped her words and tried to manipulate with the way she talked. 

"Painting, actually." Alec looked at him with surprise. 

"What?" Magnus asked defensively, crossing his arms.

"Nothing, it just seems like you'd be in fashion or something." 

"I do love clothes, and I love choosing ensembles, but I'm dreadful when it comes to actually picking up a sewing machine."

"I meant fashion design. You know, like making the blue print in a way?" 

Magnus shrugged. "I guess I could do that. But, I like how painting can suggest things change. " Alec looked at him with surprise once again,

"How so?" Magnus smirked at the question.

"Nope, it's my turn to ask a question. " Glaring, Alec muttered something under his breath that shouldn't be written down. 

"Why do you like things that are constant?" Magnus smiled at the sudden uncertain look that flashed across Alec's deep blue eyes. The cerulean orbs he could look into for hours on end-

Again, straight. Alec. Was. Straight. 

"Because when nothing changes, nothing leaves you." Alec said simply, always completely and fully straight to the point.

"Unless something, or rather, someone new comes along and changes _you_. Then, you want to change, at least a little, to let that someone into your life, no?" Alec looked at Magnus, a steely expression on his face.

"I wouldn't know."

When Alec walked past Magnus, Magnus couldn't help but feel like he hadn't made any progress at all.

Or maybe that was just Alec's words creeping up on him.

 _Constant,_ Magnus thought with a sigh _. Never changing. What a dreadful concept._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So when I read AUs, Magnus is usually a fashion design major. I wanted to be a little different, and I feel like there's so much more to his character besides fashion. I like to imagine that Magnus would want to paint to capture moments throughout his immortality, like painting Will Herondale and then Alec, and comparing the two pictures.  
> JUST LET ME HAVE THIS OKAY


	4. Movie Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOW DID THIS GET 1000 HITS THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH OMG!!! *hugs heavily*  
> Now it's 2 AM here so enjoy you guys XD Its a lot longer than #3 tho! ^-^

 

"Magnus." The gorgeous-as-always Alec-Fucking-Lightwood stood over him, and Magnus arched an eyebrow.

He honestly needed a new nickname for Alec, but it fit the boy before him, so who was he to complain?

"Something you needed?" Magnus purred, desperately resisting the urge to add 'darling' afterwards. Not flirting was a hard thing to do, and Magnus wasn't used to it. 

Or maybe it was just because it was Alec. And every time his blue eyes landed on Magnus' gold-green, his heart skipped a beat for a second. Or two.

He had even started to follow those complain-based tumblr blogs about liking straight people. It was an all time low in his life, and one of the first times Magnus Bane deleted his internet history.

Believe it or not.

Magnus didn't really mind people seeing him looking up porn, although he didn't do it often, or whatever things he was doing on tumblr; but not that. It was kind of shameful, and Magnus Bane didn't like feeling ashamed. About anything, really.

 Why else would he wear skin tight, purple leather pants? Shame was not a common emotion for Magnus Bane. 

"Jace and Izzy are hosting a movie night and their both bringing their friends." Alec's rough voice broke him out of his thoughts. Magnus raised an eyebrow with a smirk.

"And?"

"And I need to bring a friend, and I'm socially incompetent. There." Alec was flushed scarlet as he looked at Magnus. 

"What time?" Alec stared at Magnus incredulously, as if he couldn't believe that Magnus wanted to spend time with him. The thought brought a frown to his face, but it was quickly wiped off as he looked back at Alec. 

"Um, seven." Magnus grinned crookedly.

"Perfect. Maybe we can continue twenty questions?" Magnus didn't mean to add a wink. It was purely on instinct. Dear God, no one told him how hard not flirting would be. But instead of the dark look Alec gave him earlier, he just blushed heavily and nodded.

"Maybe." As Alec left with hands shoved in his pockets, Magnus gaped a little. He didn't just.... Just sort of flirt back?

No, no he's just trying to be nice. Magnus told himself, settling back into a casual expression despite his inner turmoil. The blush was just from unexpectedness, Alec wasn't used to flirting.

Right?

* * *

 

"Magnus, stop overthinking things." A tired voice spoke from the other end of his phone, and Magnus frowned.

"But Catarina, he said maybe. Maybe is possibly the most complex word of the English language."

"Magnus. He said he was straight, right?" Magnus winced. Completely and fully had implied it, but, being one in need for a dramatic story, had told his best friend that Alec had said out loud he was straight. 

"Therotically, yes." Magnus could practically hear the anger crackling on the other end. 

"Therotically? Dammit Magnus," As Magnus started to speak she stopped him, "I don't want to hear about your need for a dramatic flair Magnus. If your sure he's straight, don't torture yourself. If it's too painful to be friends, drop him. If not, wait till your both drunk enough to not remember anything." Magnus snorted a bit at that, but let her continue, "Honestly Magnus if this is just physical-"

"Cat, you know I wouldn't do that." His voice lacked the usual playful tone, dropping to a low sound.

"Yeah, I know." She sounded a bit distracted, and Magnus realized that something must have been going on at the medical clinic she worked at. He felt a wave of guilt for interrupting her, and frowned.

"Go fix whatever problem that needs the great Catarina's help." He could almost hear her wince over the phone.

"Call me later, and tell me how the movie night goes, okay?" With that she hung up, leaving Magnus alone in his dorm room with a phone in his hand. He checked the clock and winced.

Two hours till he was supposed to be at Alec's. Immediately Magnus went to his closet, ripping out outfits excitedly.

 

Two hours later and he stood outside of Alec's dorm room in a dark blue satin long sleeve with two buttons open, and tight, black jeans. To make up for his simple ensemble, he had applied cat eye eyeliner and dark eyeshadow. It was casual, but also showed he had put in thought. In other words, perfect. 

When he knocked on the door he resisted the weird kick of nerves. Magnus was simply hanging out with friends. That was all. It was purely platonic.

It didn't help that when Alec opened the door, he looked amazing. His hair was a little messy, but Alec pulled off messy so well it turned into sexy.

It was at this point in Magnus' life when he realized that he had just made a rhyme out of sexy and messy. A cruel world it was indeed.

Alec was wearing a faded t shirt that hugged his skin in all the right ways, and Magnus suppressed a groan. Why did he have to be straight? Dear god. Magnus shook his head, resisting the urge to compliment him. Not flirting had gone from being a challenge to Mt. Everest. 

"Hey." Was all Alec said, but his face made it look like he didn't expect Magnus to come.

"I wasn't going to ditch you Alexander." Magnus said with a smile, and Alec flinched. Clearly he had read his mind perfectly. Chuckling lightly, Magnus walked into his dorm room to utter chaos.

To his surprise, Magnus' roommate and Clary were bickering over what movie to watch, quite loudly in fact. Isabelle was in the kitchen and grinned at him, waving a smoking spatula. All the while Jace was on the piano, playing some sort of mixture between Chopsticks and one of Chopin's etudes. Alec stood behind him, sheepishly rubbing the back of his head.

"Welcome to movie night." Magnus looked over and grinned at the blushing Alec. 

"Is it always like this?"

"No, actually this is fairly tame. Izzy hasn't even set anything on fire yet." Magnus laughed aloud, hearing a muffled 'Shut up!' from the kitchen. 

"Should we help her..? Her culinary skills seem a bit.. Lacking." Alec choked out a laugh.

"Lacking is an understatement." When they walked inside the small dorm room kitchen, Isabelle stood among a pan of charred vegetables, and was trying to bring chicken back to life. By that, she was clutching a completely black rotisserie chicken, and muttering things under her breath. 

"Isabelle darling, can I help?" Magnus asked gently, slowly moving towards Isabelle. She nodded mutely, stepping aside from the ruined food and next to Alec. 

With a confident grin, Magnus set to work on the pile of charred food. 

An hour later, he came out with plates of his 'Smoked Ceaser Salad', and had somehow been able to make burnt chicken and the fresh lettuce in the fridge taste amazing; with drizzled vinaigrette sauce.

"How did you do this with Izzy's cooking?" Jace asked after a few minutes of silent eating. Magnus simply chuckled, and Isabelle threw a fork at Jace.

Such a lovely sibling bond.  

After about thirty minutes of talking and eating, Izzy stood up with a grin.

"Alright, I don't care what anyone says, we are _so_ watching old, Classic Disney movies." This earned a groan from Jace, but, surprisingly enough, a grin from Alec.

"Come on Jace, it's our innitiation whenever someone new joins our movie nights. Please?" Magnus raised an eyebrow at the word 'innitiation', but was curious nonetheless. 

Jace threw his hands up with a sigh, and Isabelle cheered. Everyone soon sat down on the couch, although it was a bit small for everyone. Which led to Magnus' side completely pressed up against Alec. 

He could feel the warmth of his skin through a thin t shirt, and was biting his lip to stop from smiling. Every line of hard muscle was easy to feel, and even if Alec was straight, even if Magnus could never have him, he could enjoy this. 

Of course, it also made him distracted throughout the entirety of 'Beauty and the Beast except for when certain songs came on. On those he screamed out the lyrics along with everyone. 

Towards the end of movie night and about four song-filled movies later, everyone gathered up things to leave. On his way out, Isabelle tapped his shoulder and Magnus turned, confused. 

"Hmm?" Magnus' brow raised, and Izzy presented him a grin and a sealed package of popcorn.

"You are now considered a member of the tradition. Next movie night, bring that popcorn back and eat it with all of us. Then, and only then, can you keep coming back for the rest of our miserable lives." She said it cheerfully, but he could tell there was a layer of seriousness to it. Magnus felt oddly touched to be let in on what was obviously a personal thing, and shot grins to all of them. 

"I'm honored." Jace clapped his shoulder, Steve or something and Clary smiled at him, and Izzy hugged him briefly. Magnus gave them all a wave, turning to Alec. 

"Thanks for inviting me. It was fun." Alec nodded slowly, and a small, genuine smile crept up on his face. It was a beautiful thing, and lit up his whole face. Scratch that, it lit up the world. Magnus never wanted it to end. He barely touched Magnus' shoulder as Magnus left; but it seemed like enough. A small bit of contact, but it left Magnus smiling dumbly for the rest of the night.

Even if, somewhere deep, Magnus knew that he could never have Alexander Lightwood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What can I say, I love Magnus trying to repress his flirtatious tendencies XD  
> So I know where I want to go with this fic, but not what to put inbetween. Drop some suggestions into the comments below! X3


	5. For Lack of a Better Word

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It Sucked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok I apologize in advance this is a hella short chapter!!! But the next is really long so prepare.  
> Thank you so much for all the feedback and kudos, it makes my day!

"Did you bring it?" Isabelle Lightwood had answered her brother's door, a skeptical expression on her face. Magnus chuckled a bit, it had been four months since the movie night and he had spent most of it becoming integrated into their little group. It was honestly strange, his friend group had simply consisted of Catarina and Ragnor for so long that the additional favorites on his phone's contacts were something he wasn't used to. Magnus missed Catarina and Ragnor desperately, but he could see them in small things. The way Izzy would speak in brash, hurried tones and then not bothering to say goodbye, she was too busy; had Catarina written all over it. Or the way Jace would school his features into an irritated expression when in reality he was pleased; that left him thinking of Ragnor. Clary's kind smile, Simon's random excitement, they all reminded him of his old friends in small ways. It left him missing Catarina and Ragnor, but there was one person that didn't remind him of anyone he'd ever met.

Alec.

Alexander Lightwood. The name still brought a small smile to his face, but Magnus still felt a jolt of pain everytime. He had, (not really) gotten over his initial strong attraction to the boy, but then...  
There was his damn personality. Alec was blunt, simple in the way Camille never was. He never tried to manipulate with words, he never tried to warp the truth. In fact, the way he spoke was almost too simple. He said what he was thinking immediately, and that was it.

It was honestly confusing.

Magnus was used to people who tried to work their way with words.   
He was used to manipulators, but the way Alec was the complete opposite?

It was unnerving, to say the least. Magnus always knew what to say. He knew how to react to word users, people that snaked their way into your head with concealed lies.

What he didn't know how to react to was how Alec immediately said what he wanted. How devastatingly simple he said things, like it didn't even matter.

But the thing is, it did. Every word Alec said mattered. And every word he said had Magnus sinking deeper into a crush. And it sucked, for lack of a better word. In Magnus' opinion, it sucked. Everything sucked. It sucked when Alec would flash him a rare, genuine smile and it made Magnus' heart melt. It sucked when he would laugh at one of Magnus' jokes, and Magnus felt like he was just falling into a never ending pit. It sucked when Magnus would think 'God, I'm so close and I could just kiss him..'; and then he would be hit with the reminder. That Alec was straight.

Magnus had had unrequited crushes, but he'd gotten over it. He'd gotten over them after a few weeks; knowing he couldn't have them. But no matter how hard he tried? No matter how hard Magnus kicked and screamed; Alec drew him in.

And you know what? It sucked.

\-----------------------------------

"Isabelle, I wouldn't forget it." Magnus said with a smile, breaking out of his thoughts. The day was Alec's birthday. Each one of their group was assigned to bring something; and of course Magnus had to bring liquor. It was fitting however, since Magnus had a wealthy background. And he wasn't one to complain about wasting his father's money. So he had gone a little over board, buying expensive labels and ending up with six bottles of wine, two beer packs, and some whiskey.

Again, Magnus didn't find it in himself to worry about his father's money. Or delicate feelings, for that matter.

"Damn Magnus!" Isabelle said excitedly, an impressed expression on her face.

"Yes well, I know I'm amazing, but some help please?" Magnus said a little helplessly, carrying it all in a crate that was rather huge. Isabelle immediately snapped out of it, rushing to help Magnus with the crate. They both carried it towards the dorm room's kitchen, where food was already out and Jace stood; cooking what looked like Ethiopian. Magnus smiled a bit at Alec's favorite food, and got to work on setting up decorations that Izzy had bought.

\-----------------------------------

  
Two hours later Magnus, Clary, Simon, Jace and Isabelle all stood near the door to Alec's dorm room; eagerly awaiting his arrival. They spoke in hushed tones, until they heard the sound of a key turning.

"Shut up!" Izzy whispered hurriedly, everyone quickly schooling their features into wide grins. When Alec walked through the door, everyone shouted:

"Surprise!" With a weak, but genuine smile, Alec opened his mouth to speak.

Until his eyes rolled up into his head, and he crashed to the floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now.... I HAVE A PLAN!  
> Wowie that took a while but now I know where this fic is going!  
> If you'd like to see something in particular though, drop a suggestion in the comments below!  
> P.S: Comments make me want to update all the time every day, thank you so much for feedback!


	6. Simple

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So not as long as originally intended cause I split into two parts! Sorry guys. :/ Next part will be up tomorrow though! :) Also, this one gets a lil angsty..  
> But I'm better at writing angst than fluff tbh.  
> Enjoy!

Waiting outside a hospital door was hell. It was hell having to hear the familiar whispered tones of nurses as they rushed around. It was hell having to breathe that choking scent of antiseptic. It was hell, in honesty, due to the horrible memories it dredged up in Magnus' brain.

" _Where's my mom? I want to see her!" A child, seemingly around the age of thirteen, yelled, tugging on the scrubs of one of the two nurses in the room. His golden eyes blazed, rimmed with unshed tears. The two nurses exchanged a glance. The glance spoke of words unsaid, the reason for why his mother was behind that door. The reason why the boy had found her unconcious when he had gotten home that day._

_They knew he didn't know why she was in the hospital in the first place; even if he was the one who had found her._

* * *

 

_  
When he had first seen his mother splayed out on their kitchen floor, the boy thought she was sleeping. For about a second. He wasn't naive, and he was anything but stupid. When he grabbed the house phone and dialed 911 with trembling fingers; he wasn't being a stupid kid. He knew what had to be done; even if tears blurred his vision while he did it._

_When doctors came pouring in, pushing past him, the boy kept a steely expression in his face. Despite the tears, he kept a hard, almost unreadable expression in his gold eyes._

_Almost all the nurses had ignored the boy, rushing past him and towards his mother, speaking and yelling commands while they hoisted her up onto a gurney. Only one stayed behind, a nurse with blue eyes and fair hair. She crouched down to look at him, and he expected her to ask him 'are you okay?' or something of that caliber. Instead, she just looked at him with deep blue eyes kindly, not with pity but with kindness, and asked a question._

_"What's your name?" The boy looked at her in surprise for a second, but quickly resumed his emotionless facade._

_"Magnus. Magnus Bane."_

* * *

 

   

       "Magnus Bane?" A woman's clear voice cut through his flashback, holding a clip board. Magnus walked up to her with a raised eyebrow.

"That would be me." She looked him up and down with bright brown eyes, and nodded slowly.

"Despite you not being direct family, one of the patient's family members told me that you may as well be? I'm not supposed to repeat what she said, there was a lot of swearing involved. However, it gave you temporary visitation rights, and the patient would like to see you."

The nurse seemed rather fidgety, like she really didn't want to be there.

Isabelle. Magnus thought fondly, fighting a smile. He gave the timid nurse a curt nod, pushing past her and into Alec's hospital room.

When he walked inside however, his breath caught as the sight brought back another flood of memories.

_"I want to see my mother." Magnus whispered, turning to the blue-eyed nurse from before. He let his emotionless expression fall for a fraction of a second, letting his true emotions rear their ugly heads for barely a moment. For a moment, he let her see his inner turmoil. How, on the inside, Magnus was breaking. "Please."_

_The nurse opened the door and ushered Magnus in before closing it behind him. Magnus reminded himself to thank her later._

_However, when he turned to his mother, he didn't see his mom laying in bed._

_It was a woman with all the same features. She looked exactly like his mother, but it couldn't have been her. Her familiar, green eyes were open, but they didn't hold her usual gleam. Instead they seemed glazed over, and empty. Gray etched the lines on her face. In fact, everything was gray. The entire world seemed washed out as Magnus looked at his mother, hooked up to IV and multiple machines; the woman who always was full of color it seemed. But instead of the woman he knew, all that was left was an empty, lifeless shell._

 

"Hey." Alec's weak, raspy voice broke Magnus out of his memories, and Magnus immediately rushed over towards him. He was hooked up to all the same things his mother had been, except he didn't seem impossibly gray. His blue eyes still shone blue, bright as the sea.

"Alec.." For the first time in his life, Magnus seemed out of words.

"What.. What happened?" Magnus whispered, as none of the nurses had explained exactly what had happened to Alec.

"Did you know you can die of stress?" Always so blunt. At least he knew he was still Alec.

"Yes, of course.. Didn't you?" Magnus arched an eyebrow, and Alec shrugged weakly.

"It always seemed so weird. Like, get enough shit on your plate and boom! Your dead. " Alec frowned at his own explanation, something Magnus found strangely amusing. "I guess I took too many classes. I only really wanted to do photography, but my dad was pissed at me enough for not becoming a lawyer. Maybe it was him always breathing down my neck." Alec seemed rather talkative, and Magnus wondered briefly if they had him hooked up to morphine. It was a painkiller, something to help patients relax until they weren't stressed anymore. Although Alec probably would have been a little more giggly, if that was the case.

"Do you know exactly what happened Alec?" Magnus asked gently, curiosity and kindness battling with each other. Alec nodded rather flippantly.

"Yeah. My heart was just kinda... Done." He made a gesture with his hands to something simply dropping and being 'done' with a _plop_ noise. The whole gesture was so blunt, so simply and so ridiculously _Alec_ that it made Magnus start to laugh, harder and harder until he was crying. Alec looked concerned and leaned towards Magnus, but he kept laughing.

"Oh god, are you okay? I'm sorry I shouldn't have-"

"Alexander. It's quite alright." Magnus interrupted when he could breathe again. "It's just... Your so.. Your so.." Magnus gestured helplessly and Alec raised an eyebrow.

"I'm so..?" 

"Devastatingly simple. In the best possible way." Magnus grinned crookedly, and Alec found himself smiling back. The way Magnus had said it wasn't ridiculing or making fun of Alec, but with a tone of fondness. Like he wouldn't want Alec any other way. That was what made Alec smile back, even if just a little bit.

 

     When Magnus shut the door behind him, he shook his head with kind of a dazed smile. 

_Alexander Lightwood._

Magnus couldn't think of a better,  _simpler_ name than that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *wraps both of these babies in a blanket and hugs them close*  
> Ok I must admit, this chap was gonna be a lot longer but come onnnn was that not an okay last line of a chapter? Nah? I was proud okay XD I didn't wanna ruin their happy mood with more angst, but there's gonna be a lot more angst next chapter!  
> And also more Malec  
> But a lot more angst.  
> Hehe.
> 
> As always, thank you so much for the feedback and comments and I can't believe even one of you is enjoying this! It just makes my day and I'm so happy to continue writing this when I see comments! They just make me so happy and feel all warm and fuzzy inside, so all you commenters are wonderful people! And all you kudosers, jUST ANYONE WHO READS THIS THANK YOU SO MUCH I LOVE YOU ALL OKAY  
> *wraps all of you like sushi rolls in blankets and gives you pies*


	7. Unnerving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Memories and more hospital rooms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this wasn't up earlier, I had a shitty day yesterday and didn't feel like writing :/  
> Anywho, I just wanted to thank you all for the wonderful comments and feedback :) If I don't respond I was either:  
> A, quickly checking and did not have time to respond; or  
> B: I was being a lazy ass, and for that I apologize.

_The first words Magnus's mother said when he walked into her hospital room was not what he expected._

_"Leave Magnus."_

_It was less what she said, and more the way she said it. There was none of her usual warmth, her weary but kind smiles as she ruffled his hair. It was all gone, replaced by a monotone, cold voice. Her familiar voice wasn't familiar to Magnus anymore. Instead of the warmth he usually felt while talking to her, that sort of sunny feeling? It was replaced. Instead of his mothers voice, chilling tendrils of ice spread throughout his body when she spoke. She was... Cold._

 

"It's rather chilly in here, don't you think?" Magnus asked, turning to Isabelle. They sat in the waiting room, as Alec was being worked on. The doctors had already said he would make a recovery, but they still had to check up on his vitals and make sure his heart was back to its usual steady beat. 

Which left Magnus, Isabelle, and Jace sitting in a dreadfully cold room; each not knowing what to say.

Magnus felt awkward, to say the least.

"Yeah." Isabelle agreed quietly. Magnus frowned at the withdrawn behavior. He knew it was because of Alec, and put a hand on her knee in what he hoped was a comforting gesture.

"Hey. He's expected to recover right?" Magnus didn't know how to comfort Isabelle with all the doubts buzzing in his own head, but he kept a fairly good reign on his emotions. 

Isabelle nodded slowly.

"I've just never seen him like that, is all." She whispered, her usual strong self having slipped. Izzy was always strong, always confident. Seeing her vulnerable was unnerving.

They said Alec would recover, but whether that was complete, him fully functioning was a maybe. That was what upset Magnus, and most likely Isabelle as well. 

Magnus couldn't really imagine Alexander different. On a wheelchair maybe, but not fully himself? The thought wasn't the first unnerving thing of the day.

 

_"Mom?" Magnus whispered, stepping closer. Her gaze hardened further._

_"I said leave, Magnus." A flash of hurt flickered across his face._

_"But why?" The question was multiple questions in itself. Why leave? Why was she so gray? Why was she almost dead on the kitchen floor?_

_"Why is right, Magnus." She said softly, the first time her voice wasn't hard as ice._

_"But which why are you asking?" Her voice was strange. Not only was it chilled, but it held a different aura. It was, again, unnerving._

_He was struck with the same sense that it had to be someone else. It seemed to be a different woman, a different person with the same face. Magnus bit back tears._

_"Mom, why are you acting like this?" He whispered, and she let out a bitter laugh._

_"That one then? Are you sure it's the correct why to be asking? Magnus, do you know why I'm here?" Her gray-green eyes stayed gray, but now they held a sort of craze. A different form of strange. She looked insane._

_But still, as curiosity took over his horror, Magns shook his head to her question._

_At that, she laughed again. It seemed more like a cackle, a twisted form of amusement. The laugh was laced wth bitterness, anger woven through the sound._

_"I wanted to die, Magnus."_

* * *

"Alec Lightwood is ready for visitors." All three stood immediately, and the timid nurse from before shook her head.

"One at a time, please." Magnus gestured for Izzy to go, but she shook her head with a weak smile.

"Go, Magnus." He started to protest at Isabelle's words, but the nurse had already ushered him inside the room.

When the door shut behind him, Magnus stared wide-eyed at Alec.

Alec grinned goofily, and Magnus instantly knew that he was probably high on pain killers and morphine.

The logic in him told Magnus to leave, to walk out and wait until Alec was himself. 

Something else made him walk over to Alec's hospital bed and smile at him.

"How are you feeling?" Magnus asked gently, and Alec beamed at him. Somehow, the sunny expression didn't suit Alec.

"Great!" 

"That's good." Magnus said carefully, smiling at him again, and Alec's grin grew.

"I think I'm starting to like this place." Alec suddenly proclaimed, and Magnus arched an eyebrow.

"Oh?" 

"Yup. The pink wallpaper is really starting to grow on me."

"Alexander, these walls are white." Alec frowned at that.

"Nu uh. They are very clearly pink." Magnus held in laughter, biting his lip.

"Alexander-" He started, but Alec held a finger up, as if to say 'Shh'. He had a strange expression on his face. Something Magnus couldn't really identify.

"I like the way you say my name." Alec whispered suddenly, looking up at Magns with the same bright blue eyes that had taken his breath away the first time he saw Alec. But instead of that same light in his eyes, they seemed darkened. Like the deepest part of the sea.

"No one else calls me Alexander. The way you say it, like I'm a treasure that your searching for, but can't quite find. It's mesmerizing." The hazy laughter in his eyes was gone, replaced by a serious look, something dark flickering in those blue pools.

Magnus could lean over, just kiss him and drown in those eyes. He could lose himself in their depths, swimming in the amazing person that was Alexander Lightwood.

But he stopped. Magnus was reminded, once more, of the fact that Alec was wholly and completely straight. The jolt of pain the thought sent through him was stronger than he anticipated.

And yet, he willed away the desires, the thoughts of Alec he wasn't supposed to have. 

Magnus chuckled softly, tucking his feelings away and locking them in a box. A box that no one could open, as Magnus had already swallowed the key.

"Go to sleep, Alexander."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah I know, I know I should stop Magnus with all these straight thoughts of Alec but you know what?  
> I DONT REALLY HAVE A PLOT LINE WITHOUT HIM THINKING THIS OKAY LEMME HAVE THIS I JUST WANTED TO BE ORIGINAL *sobs*
> 
> On another note, thank you all so much for commenting last chapter! It makes me so happy that even one of you is reading this, and took the time to comment. I love you all *death hug*  
> *remembers that I wrapped you all in sushi roll-blankets last time*  
> Shit.


	8. Good News

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry this took a bit! I was seriously sleep deprived and any chance of writing, as I write these at night, was not happening.  
> So, without further ado, the next chapter!

_"I like the way you say my name."_

Magnus shivered slightly at the memory, the memory of Alec's usually bright blue eyes darkened so that instead of the usual ocean waves; they portrayed the deepest part of the sea.

He tried to ignore it. To pretend like it was nothing special, Alec was just high on painkillers and delusional. That had to be it.

Right?

Magnus sighed, running a hand through his carefully styled hair; effectively messing it up.

Ah well, he was sloppy with the hair gel today anyways.

 

Magnus went back to his box, the box that held his feelings for Alec, somewhere between his head and his heart. The box was already made of iron, but Magnus reinforced it. He added bars and warning tape, stop signs and anything he could do to stop himself.

He needed to stop the oncoming flow of emotion directed towards Alec Lightwood.

And yet, it still wasn't quite working.

 

Sitting back in his chair, Magnus took a moment to take in his surroundings. He sat in the same dreaded area where he had waited for Alec last week; the waiting room.

Which was still quite a hellish place, in Magnus's opinion.

 

When the door to the room opened, and Izzy and Jace walked in, Magnus smiled a bit. They were all waiting for Alec's results from the 'work' they had done a few days ago. The results would tell if Alec could go back to his normal routine with some medicine and a firm order to not do much in his life until his heart strengthens; or if he would need much more care, the worst being him in a wheelchair the rest of his life.

 Basically, whether or not Alec's life would drastically change.

Magnus sincerely hoped it was the 'or not'.

 

"The doctors have been in there forever." Izzy complained, sitting back in her chair with a dramatic sigh.

"Stop being so dramatic Izzy." Jace rolled his eyes, but there was some affection lingering in them as he looked at his adoptive sister. 

Magnus just chuckled lightly, hiding his own impatience. 

 

"Family of Alexander Lightwood?" A timid voice broke through their bored atmostphere. The same nurse from before stood nervously, biting her lip and clutching a clipboard once again. 

"That would be us darling." Magnus supplied helpfully, gesturing to the others with a flourish. 

"H-his results came in." Magnus's grin only grew.

"And?" Izzy growled, impatience clearly consuming her. The nurse flinched at her sharp tone, but gave Isabelle the clipboard. 

Izzy read over the text, before turning to Jace and Magnus with a true smile on her face. 

"He's going to be okay." Her voice whispered the words, but they held a weight to them; the kind that lifted any off your shoulders. 

Relief. Relief was the word, the name for the tone in her voice. 

Tears pricked the backs of Izzy's eyes as Jace went to hug her; a huge smile on his face. Magnus let a genuine, real smile grace his features, and it only grew wider. 

The nurse had a small smile on her face; but it was clear she had something else to say.

"U-um miss?" She said timidly, the words shaking as she spoke them. Isabelle turned towards her, the same smile on her face.

"Yes?" Izzy asked with a kind smile, only gentleness in her features.

How peculiar it was; the way her emotions switched so easily, Magnus mused.

"You can visit him now, if you want. All three together." The nurse added hastily.

It was probably about three seconds from the waiting room to Alec's room; all three rushing to see him. 

Alec smiled as they walked in, and Izzy immediately hugged him while Jace laughed and clapped him on the back, gently of course. (Well, sort of gently.)

Magnus stood a little to the left, feeling out of place among the siblings. However, Isabelle soon noticed this, and waved him over with a bright smile.

Magnus didn't know what to do, didn't know whether to hug Alec or to just smile at him. He didn't know what would be appropriate, so he simply did one of his heart-winning grins. Alec grinned back, and soon they had all launched into conversation.

"So when do you get out?" Jace asked, chin propped on his hand.

"Um, I think they want me here for two more days and then I can go. I'm supposed to drop out of a class, and not answer too many of Dad or Mom's calls." Alec supplied with a shrug. "Supposed to help with stress." 

Magnus nodded, as the nurse had told him that would be necessary for Alec's health.

 

After a while, Jace and Isabelle had started to get tired, and wanted to go home. Alec waved off their worries about leaving too early, pointing out visiting hours were ending soon anyways. Magnus was about to follow them out the door, when something stopped him. He turned back towards Alec, curiosity overcoming fear.

"You don't happen to, perhaps, remember anything when you were under the influence of painkillers, would you?" Magnus asked quickly, the words sounding rushed but he had to know. Alec's face took on a shade of horror.

"Oh god, why, I didn't say anything too ridiculous right?" He seemed genuinely concerned, and Magnus couldn't help but laugh a bit.

"I'll take that as a no, then?" He inquired, and Alec shook his head whilst still looking terrified.

"All I remember is that they said you were going to see me and then I can't remember anything past that." Alec shrugged a little, the panic fading from his face.

Magnus nodded slowly, accepting this answer.

"But seriously, did I say anything too embarrassing?" Alec questioned again, more amusement in his eyes than fear. Magnus laughed softly, but the humor in his voice didn't quite reach his eyes.

"Just something about pink walls and names."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uRGH I NEEDED HAPPINESS AFTER MAGNUS'S SAD BACKSTORY OK  
> Also I apologize for how late this is, I drank caffeine at 10:00 PM to be able to write this tonight. Imma be up for a while, maybe start a new fan fiction.   
> Commitment you guys.  
> It's important. XD
> 
> As always, thank you all for the lovely comments and feedback! It makes me so much more motivated to write!


	9. Sort of Screwed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, so yeah this took forever.. I'll explain everything in the end notes, so please read them! Also this is fairly half-assed, so if it sucks my greatest apologies.

When Alec left the hospital, the world seemed to have color again.

Magnus was walking beside Isabelle, her hand in Alec's.

"You know what this calls for?" She asked cheerfully, and Alec just grinned lopsidedly.

"Hm?" 

"A party!" She exclaimed, and Magnus nodded thoughtfully. Alec, however, groaned.

"Please no, Iz. I'm not leaving the hospital to get wasted as soon as I'm home." Alec pleaded, and Magnus snorted. Isabelle just smirked.

"You don't have to get drunk, you just will." She said playfully, and Alec rolled his eyes.

"Not true, Iz." Alec muttered, and she stared.

"Oh really?"

"I can be sober at parties, hell, I always am." Alec growled. Isabelle stared at him.

"Well, I suppose the only time you agree to coming with me to a party is when your sad so.." Izzy shrugged, and Alec gaped at her. Magnus watched the whole thing with amusement, finding the two siblings endearing.

"You know what, whatever, I'm gonna go take a shower." Alec grumbled, ignoring Izzy's comments to his back about 'out of the hospital and now your a grouch?'.

Alec showed her a gesture with a certain finger that had Magnus laughing for hours afterward.

 

"Hm, what should I wear?" Magnus turned to Isabelle, who was examining her nails thoughtfully. They stood in Magnus's dorm room, and Magnus had his closet open and spilling over with clothes.

"The red one." Isabelle muttered distractedly. Magnus frowned at her.

"Darling, what's going on? Besides, red is your color." Magnus sat down next to her, and Izzy turned with a loud sigh. 

"I'm just worried about Alec. He's never actually drunk unless he's sad, by the way." Isabelle informed him. Magnus nodded carefully, gesturing for her to go on. "Seeing him in the hospital just scared me, I guess." She whispered, and Magnus was taken aback by the sudden vulnerability shown from the strong woman. She shook out of it soon, however, and grinned at Magnus.

"Wear the purple button down, but leave about four buttons open and wear a necklace." She said with ease, flicking a shirt at him. Magnus laughed dryly, impressed at her ability to shrug off any tension. 

"As always, your fashion taste is impeccable." Magnus murmured, looking at the shirt with interest. Isabelle shot him a grin.

"Now it's your turn to help me pick out a dress." She said with a smirk. Magnus grinned back.

"Anything red, my dear." Magnus spoke with a wry grin, and Izzy nodded with the same expression. She headed out, listing off the red dresses in her closet on one hand with a distracted look on her face.

In her wake, Simon stood gaping at her retreated form.

"Who was that?" He exclaimed as soon as she left, turning to Magnus with wide brown eyes.

"That would be Isabelle Lightwood." Magnus chuckled, then looked Simon up and down. "And she would stomp all over your heart." He added, but Simon didn't seem to care.

"Not sure I'd mind." He murmured, still staring at the space she was previously in. Magnus rolled his eyes.

"I'm going out later, and probably won't return any time before three o'clock." Magnus announced. Simon just uttered a 'yeah' and went to grab his laptop. 

Magnus went into the bathroom, preparing himself for the upcoming party. He slipped into extremely tight leather pants and the purple button down Izzy had suggested, slinging a gold necklace over his neck. He unbuttoned most of the buttons, gazing appreciatively. Isabelle Lightwood was never wrong in her advice, it seemed.

Make up was a bit more dramatic than normal, winged eyeliner in the form of a cat's eye and quite an impressive smoky eye, if he could say so himself. Glitter was everywhere, just the way Magnus liked it, and he deemed himself presentable. Or rather, irresistible.

When he got back to the room, Simon was still staring at the screen of his laptop pathetically.

"Hey, do you think it would be too weird if I sent her a friend request?" Simon questioned, and Magnus just spun on his heel, and left their room. Simon's protests were heard all the way down the hall.

 

* * *

 

The music was loud, lights were flashing, and sweaty bodies were pressing up against one another in dance.

It was a perfect party, Magnus Bane decided.

Except for one problem. 

He had beautiful people everywhere, smirking at him from the corners or sending winks his way, and yet he could only keep his gaze focused on one person.

Alexander Gideon Lightwood.

A stony expression, back against the wall as he stared gloomily out at the party. 

And yet, he was still strangely beautiful. Magnus groaned internally at the blinking reminder in his head screaming 'STRAIGHT'.

It was a gloomy and unnecessary reminder, and therefore Magnus hated it.

Eventually he told himself he was being pathetic, and excused himself from whatever person he was talking to at the moment. 

Magnus made his way over to Alec, grabbing a drink along the way. When he got there, he planted the drink in Alec's hand.

Magnus had known him for four months now, and it was strange how the crush never went away. He still longed for moments like this when they were alone, well alone-ish, and he could have Alec to himself. It was strange, and Magnus usually didn't nurse crushes this long, but something about Alec made his heart skip a beat 24/7; whether it be a smile or a grimace.

Now, he knew very well he was being like all the stereotypical lovesick puppies he knew.

And yet, Magnus couldn't bring himself to care.

 

"So, having fun?" Magnus questioned good-naturedly, and Alec turned to him with a raised eyebrow. He took a sip of the drink Magnus gave him, wincing at the strong taste.

"It's not really my scene." Alec muttered. Magnus snorted.

"Yeah, I could tell. It's like a version of the Perks of Being a Wallflower." Magnus joked half-heartedly, but Alec just stared.

"Haven't seen it." Alec explained, and Magnus sighed. 

"Your truly uneducated, one movie night I'm bringing a stack of everything you've ever missed out on." Magnus informed him seriously, and Alec just laughed. But it was actually real, a genuine sound that made Magnus's heart fill with warmth. 

"Sure Magnus." Alec turned to him, black hair falling over one of those extraordinary eyes, and Magnus tried to breathe again.

He was so, so fucked.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this took literally forever!  
> I'm so, so sorry. I just started another malec fic, Staring at Eternity (go check it out haha *shameless self promotion*)  
> And it got a lot better reaction than this, and I honestly prefer writing it.  
> I have some people there that constantly give me suggestions and make me want to continue writing, and it's a joy to write. I honestly love it.  
> I just.. Can't seem to gather up inspiration to write this.   
> I'm so sorry. I'm not ending it, but updates will be infrequent.  
> If you want a frequently updated fic of mine, however, check out Staring at Eternity!  
> I love you all, by the way, and I'm sorry again. Thank you for reading, hopefully my next update won't be a 20-day wait?

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is my first fanfiction in years! Reads and Review are appreciated. If there's some constructive criticism, I'd love to have it. Sorry if my writings a little rusty, it's been a while. Anyways, this will be a multichapter fic, and I'm excited to continue writing about these two!


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